Mangoes

By Nikhil Tole Trivedi

There are generally two things a Mumbaikar still in the education system looks forward to in summer. Holidays and mangoes. But then BIS decided it was better off with the IG and now the only respite from the baking heat and gruelling exam preparation that remains for its students is mangoes. Fleshy, juicy, succulent – all these words may be used to describe a mango but to me English words can do it no justice. The word most appropriate for describing a mango is “raseela”. When you say “raseela”, you can almost feel the squelch as you bite into it, the juice finding its way down the palm of your hand and forearms, the spontaneous explosion of flavour incomparable to anything else in the world – Ah, heavenly. But I digress. What I am trying to say is that I like mangoes - worship them, really - which is why I am attempting to share with you, the reader, the right way to eat a mango.

Pre-cut WUSS! I am sorry, but seeing as you didn’t scorn in disdain the moment you read this subheading and decide to skip this paragraph, you deserve it. Eating a pre-cut mango can only ever mean one thing - you are a snob. Let me enlighten you as to why. When you eat a pre-cut mango you are implying 2 things. Firstly, that you don’t want to get juice all over your face and hands which, quite frankly, is a sentiment I have tried and failed repeatedly to understand as you miss out on the most important part of the entire experience. Secondly, that you are too scared to bite into an entire mango as there is a significant chance that it’ll either be sour, or have gone bad and so resort to eating tiny pieces that can easily be spat out in case of any problem. In conclusion, if you eat mangoes pre-cut, you must eradicate this bad habit at the earliest or else you risk becoming a waster of gutlis (an action punishable by death), or at worst, a sobo brat.

Pre-cut but with gutli

For those of you that don’t know, a gutli is the core of a mango – the seed surrounded by the remnants of flesh that couldn’t be cut off. If you have stooped to the level of eating pre-cut mangoes, the least you could do is eat the gutli. This way it doesn’t get wasted (something appalling think of let alone have happen) and at least you get the bare minimum of the experience that is eating a mango. Please note however, that unless you have spent at least 5 minutes sucking and licking the gutli clean leaving no flesh on it whatsoever, I consider you to be no better than the previous category of miscreants.

Whole (peeled) To all those that do indeed eat mangoes whole, may I just say, respect. This is no mean feat. In order to eat a mango whole you need the courage to take large, confident bites into it regardless of the fact that around half of the time, the taste of the flesh will be substandard. It will either be too khatta (a combination of sour, bitter and tangy), fikka (lacking in concentration of flavour), pilpila (watery), or even in some cases sickly sweet. You also need a certain level of childish innocence and naiveté as, in order to keep going, you must always keep the hope of the next bite being better than the last alive. You will be duly rewarded for your efforts of course, for when you eat a perfect mango in this way, your olfactory, gustatory, tactile and audio-visual senses are simultaneously stimulated. As I said, heaven.